“Wait until Raphael is born. You won’t have time for anything anymore!” That’s what everyone WITH kids told me. I was already annoyed of all the things people wanted to tell me about… how it’s going to be when I will become a mother etc.
I remember exactly when I planned on buying a sewing machine, doing spanish lessons and starting the next creative “project” I had in my mind.
Yes, I am the kind of girl having a brain with too many tabs open that I couldn’t keep up with. I pictured it so well in my head. While Raphael is sleeping I can do all the things I want to do. Of course I didn’t know by that time that putting a baby to sleep isn’t always as easy as it sounds. Never would I have thought that a baby changes everything!!
Friends without kids sometimes don’t understand what a huge life change it is and that it’s so hard to keep in touch regularly when you have a baby. PLUS: the combination of being a new mom and an expat family makes this even harder. With a day full of diaper changes, feeding sessions, grocery shopping, doctors appointments, cleaning dirty baby clothings and eventual play dates I admit that I often times forget about to text or call back. Your priorities shift and you just want to be the best mom for your child – and suddenly all other things become irrelevant. I am pretty sure that other moms can fully relate to what I am saying. The last year wasn’t always easy for me (…and still isn’t but I am learning!) Besides suffering from the baby blues, Mark traveling and us moving twice within 2 months, we don’t have our family living close to watch Raphael for a day or even just for a few hours. We just moved to a new place and don’t know a lot of people yet so we are basically on our own. And it takes a lot of energy and work to run the household, wanting to be the best mom and wife and trying not to forget being an individual and taking care of yourself (which happens most of the time!)
I am definitely sad that some friendships couldn’t survive this distance and circumstances but even more so grateful for the ones who are still my friends even though I don’t call or text every day, even though I forget or reschedule Skype calls many times. I am grateful for those who show so much understanding and patience. Especially the ones without kids because obviously they can’t imagine how life changes (definitely another stage of life!) with a baby but being able to show that empathy and trust means the world! Thank you for being there and always listen to me when I feel lonely and overwhelmed with being an expat mom.
Photos by Emily Tanedo