I have been thinking for a long time about what makes me happy and content. And there isn’t always one obvious answer. Of course, spending the rest of my life with Mark – that is out of the question!!
But what about the rest? What do I want to achieve in life? What is my purpose? Even if I always do what I want – sometimes I get stuck and suddenly I don’t know anything anymore. I learned a lot during the last year – while living in the US far away from family and friends. It’s been two years since I got my Master of Science and at the moment I am doing anything but chemistry. In the beginning I felt a little lost, I had so many questions and ideas about what I want to do and what is the right way for me, here in the US. Sometimes there are so many things in my mind that I can’t keep up with. I started a lot of projects, tried a lot of new things and began to broaden my horizon. While most of the people were getting a job and starting an everyday life I was still figuring out what I wanted to do (no pressure! :D) Thanks to Mark’s stable job, I’m not forced to do just any kind of work. A lot of people don’t seem to understand me and I had to hear things like “Oh really? That’s so cool, but if I were you I would work anyway. I mean sitting at home all day. Isn’t that boring?” or “What are you doing all day while Mark is away at work? I would feel compelled to work in order to be independent.” And believe me it is hard to hear things like that even if you have a strong personality. Maybe they are right, maybe I should do what everyone does: Get a nine-to-five job, being super depressed because I don’t have enough time with my husband, fight about who should do the laundry or the grocery shopping etc… YES – Of course, I am exaggerating.
But it took me a while to realize, that only I know what is good for me and what I really want for MY life. So why shouldn’t I do what makes me happy even if it’s not the standard, expected in the 21st century? What would be wrong about working just half the day or even staying at home? Why is it so important to people to fit in that specific box (here’s my box theory again haha!)? I’m so glad to have Mark’s support! Whatever I want to do I know he is always there to motivate and to encourage me to do it! And also having friends and family who support me in doing what I love and ignoring what everyone else is thinking helps a lot! I found a lot of fun in teaching Yoga Stretching classes. It started with a small group and now I am in the middle of getting an international Yoga teacher certification and I’m super excited! I don’t know what the future brings, whether I’ll start my own Yoga thing or teaching at different schools or not, whether we’ll stay longer in the US or moving somewhere else….Wherever we’ll live – I’ll find my place. Now, I’m sure!
People expect you to finish your studies, to get a job, to earn your own money, to be independent, to get married and have kids – not too early, but not too late – of course! I remember exactly when Mark and I got married, after 6 month of being a couple. “Are you sure you want to get married that quickly? You are so young. You can still get married in 2 years…” But why? Because of my age? Because we are newly-lovers? I knew from the beginning that Mark is the love of my life, that no one fits better than us and that we belong together! That was one of the best decisions in my life for sure! And honestly – every day I love him a bit more…if that’s even possible! 🙂
I am so tired of justifying myself why I ‘m doing what I do or why I am NOT doing what others do. And I really don’t feel like doing things people expect me to do. Because in the end it doesn’t matter. In the end it is YOUR life. So whatever makes you happy or with whomever you are happy – go for it – NOW!
Photos by Julia Hofmann